In churches across the country people are discouraged from questioning God. Some churches are venomous about even thinking about questioning God. Some churches give you a look, a look of disapproval when you ask a reasonable question. Why is it somehow unrighteous to question God?

Is He not strong enough to defend His position?
Are we scared that our doubts will be revealed?
Are you afraid that we will realize we were wrong about God?

Seriously why is it wrong to question? As people approach God there are so many questions, so many doubts, so many reservations. Do I have to dress like THAT? Do I have to suspend my intellect to accept this God thing? Do I have to go to church? What are the sacrifices to my current lifestyle that I’ll have to make?

I’ve looked at a lot of people in the Bible and several of them questioned God. David did it all the time. You know David, the guy after God’s own heart.

Things happen in all of our lives and we wonder where is God. Personal and public tragedies wreck homes, lives and families and it seems that our mighty God is vacant. He set the world to spinning and then walked away, satisfied that His work was done. The work of creation was the pinnacle of His involvement in our world, now it’s on autopilot.

Then there’s the issue of His powers. If He knows everything then why does He allow this __________ to happen? If He is all powerful then why doesn’t He stop this event from happening?

Let me give you one statement I’ve learned that transformed the craziness of life. When you see tragedy, keep looking for the God moment.

In the 9-11 bombings on the World Trade Center there were men and women who sacrificed themselves to help others, policemen, firefighters and average people. Take a look at the Discovery Channel’s Heroes from the 88th floor and learn about the incredible heroes, Frank DeMartini and Pablo Ortiz. Instead of evacuating the building they went up the stairs into the chaos, rescuing people, saving lives, moving debris.  77 people owe everything to them.

9-11 Heroes of the 88th floor

In the Columbine school shooting in 1999, which were horrific and terrible, there were teachers, students and janitors who sacrificed to save people. People with ordinary names like Dave, Jon, Jay, Adam and Kent and ordinary jobs like teachers and janitors became extraordinary. Look at this article in the Denver Post for more details.

Columbine Heroes

In my own personal tragedies like the death of my awesome father, there were people who tried to revive him, helped us, showed love. After his death I learned what real pain was and it made me appreciate life and love and family.

If you only look at the bad event you think the world is evil and dark. If you keep watching you’ll see the miracle that goes against human nature, self preservation and selfish tendencies. You will see the God moment.

God is still here, still present, still committing wonderful acts of love.

Ron

There is something very emotional that happens when you see your child for the first time.  With each of my kids I remember the moment we met.  Whether they had skinny legs or dark hair or a cone shaped head or a strange blue color (Griffin) they were beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful.  There was so much pride, joy, love mixed together at the sight of them.  That beautiful, wonderful child is my baby.  Holding each of my kids I was overwhelmed with love.  In some ways I felt like calling them “George”

Call him George Video
 

Other people had beautiful babies, but it wasn’t MY baby.  I still awwwww at other babies.  I still want to hold them.  But there is something wonderfully unique about your baby.   [...]

Recently I was cruising down County Line near I-65 and I might have been driving over the speed limit.  I was on the way to church at a little past 8 am and wasn’t really paying attention to my speed.  Well, the policeman coming the other way was paying attention to my speed.  He flips his car around and turns on his flashing red and blue lights.  I slowed down and pulled over resigned to my fate.  My son, Griffin, who is nine was in the car with me.  I told him that we were getting pulled over by a policeman.  He looked at me for a second or two, expecting me to be kidding with him, then looked out the back window.  When he saw the flashing lights and a policeman walking toward my car, utter fear gripped him.

I saw the fear on his face but I was occupied with getting my license and registration out. (I’ve done this before)  The policeman came to the window on the passenger side, Griffin’s side.  It was then that I took in my surroundings.  Griffin had unbuckled his seatbelt and was attempting to hide in the front floorboard by sticking his head between his knees.  He was still gripping his little blue Bible.

The policeman said, “What’s he doing?”
I said, “He’s scared.”
Policeman to Griffin, “You don’t have to be scared, I’m a policeman, I’m a good guy.  I help people.”
Policeman to me, “Did you know you were going 58 in a 40?”
I replied, “I did when you topped that hill.”
Policeman to me, “Where are you going?”
I replied, “I’m going to church.  I teach middle school.”
Policeman, “License and registration”

He walks back to his car to run all my numbers and to write a ticket.  For the record, I’ve NEVER gotten out of a ticket, never gotten a warning in my life.  So I knew the outcome was assured.  While the policeman was gone Griffin looked at me intently and asked seriously, “Are we going to jail?”
“No buddy, we aren’t going to jail.  He’s just going to write a ticket, that’s it.”

Now, I understood the fear.  Now I could see why Griffin was so scared.  He had no idea what it meant to be pulled over for a speeding ticket.  He had no point of reference.  He had never experienced anything like this before.  When the policeman came back he gave me a warning, no ticket.

As we drove away, well within the speed limit, Griffin was overjoyed.  Not only did he avoid going to juvenile detention at nine years old but his Dad just got a warning.  He was happy, excited and full of joy.  All the way to church he laughed and joked with me.

At Christmas time this story is especially powerful because of the parallel.  As you read the story leading up to Jesus birth in Luke 1 something strikes you, fear and joy.  Zechariah was afraid then joyful, Mary was afraid then joyful.  They were faced with something that was beyond them, beyond their understanding so they had fear.  When they learned that it wasn’t bad but actually quite wonderful, joy filled them.  Mary was so filled with joy and happiness that she broke out into spontaneous praise to God.

And Mary said:

Ok, so for a while I’ve been thinking about this concept.  You see people on the sidewalk of a busy intersection with a cardboard sign and it makes you feel something; maybe you feel compassion, or guilt for not giving, or doubt about their need.

What would happen if you saw someone with a cardboard sign who didn’t make you feel guilt or doubt but joy?  So I’m going to stand on the sidewalk of a busy intersection for an hour or so with a sign that is positive in nature.  That’s where I need your help.  Please let me know which sign I should make, vote in the comment section.

Option 1 – “Not Homeless, Not Hungry…Thankful”

Option 2 – “Hold the door more, Smile more, kindness is contagious”

Option 3 – “Don’t give me Money, Give me a Smile”

Option 4 – “Good Friday is better than Black Friday”

Option 5 – “Hugging your kids is better than a gift”

Option 6 – ?

As I look back at this site, I’m amazed at how things have changed. Mallory has grown about a foot since the picture on this site. Although she is still fairly short at 5′ 1″ Griffin has grown up mentally and physically too. And Olivia…wow…. things have really changed for her. Olivia is a college girl now with new responsibilities and challenges. As I casually mentioned on Facebook, parents spend years preparing kids for college but no one prepared me. “Olivia work hard on your studies, even for classes you don’t like” “You have to be really for college.” “Be responsible.” I don’t really know what I was thinking. Did I imagine her leaving our house? I don’t think so. I only imagined college from her point of view. Now we sit at the kitchen table for supper and I see an empty seat and lagging conversation. It’s tougher than you think.

For the first time in my life I understand more possessive parents. Letting go is tough, it’s the right thing to do, but man, is it tough.

As I continue with my brutal honesty in this blog I hope that you can appreciate it. Thank you to all of you who approached me in person, on the phone or via email about this blog. Being completely and wholly honest opens you up to scrutiny (a negative) and let’s people see the real flawed person (a positive). I accept this and embrace it.

Goals not resolutions –
Last year I made 8 resolutions for myself. I had some measure of success with…wait for it….just a little longer…2 of them. A lousy 25% of my resolutions were successful. With a failing grade in resolution keeping I’ve decided to change it up to better match my personality. Staying focused for 12 months is too difficult. I’m thinking smaller steps.

This year I’ve made 7 goals for the next 3 months. After 3 months I’ll write new goals based on my progress. The goals are less lofty and more easily attained. Hopefully at the end of the year the smaller goals will amount to more than my difficult resolutions last year. Here they are in no particular order

1. Get my weight into the 190′s
update – down 2.5 pounds already, got to love no carbs.
2. Get my custom app builder with new features up and running.
update – on track to be fully functional January 15th
3. Run a 12 minute mile
4. Sell $2000 worth of stuff on eBay.
update – I have 23 auctions live right now
5. Spend time with my God every day.
update – John 7:13 don’t let fear stop you from talking about Jesus
6. Spend personal time with wife and kids whenever possible.
7. Read 3 books.
update – Reading Already Gone

My last mention of this blog on Facebook had over 80 people click through, so leave a comment. I want to know who’s reading and what you like or don’t like.
Ron

Since there are people who we don’t often see I’d like to provide a year in review.  Please excuse my honesty and openness to our flaws.

Griffin – My favorite boy in the whole wide world has found that Ben 10 is so last year.  He’s been into a Bakugan or Beyblade “let it rip” themed year.  Occasionally I’ll see him pull out an action figure but otherwise he’s fully into the Japanese toys.  I’m currently trying to teach him how to whistle.  Last Sunday he sang in his elementary class at church a wonderful version of Our God.  It was pretty incredible.  He’s doing well in school, all A’s.  Tina went to his school for a Christmas party, uh excuse me “holiday” party, and was told by several people that Griffin is the smartest kid in their class.  I can agree with that.  The boy is wicked smart.  He prays every night in a sweet and wonderful way.  If you ask him to pray for you, he will remember and pray for you.

Mallory – She had another year where she grew and grew.  She’s 5’1″ now so that’s a huge jump for her.  This is the braces year but we have hopes that in early 2012 those will be gone.  Yay.  She and I have talked about having a braces gone party that includes everything sticky like gum and taffy.  She seemed to like that idea.  This year Mallory shifted from band to choir very easily.  She even got a solo in the school Christmas concert.  That’s pretty awesome for her first year in choir.  Olivia has really been working with her on the finer points of singing, like where to take a breath and such.  Mallory has made some new friends at church Isabel and Israel which is always good.  In school Mallory is a superstar.  She is so smart and gifted and yet, lacks confidence.  It’s always surprising to me that she doubts herself when she is sooooo gifted.  Maybe it’s the middle school age.

Olivia – She’s had an eventful year to say the least.  She got her first job and loved it.  She worked at the Suds restaurant in Greenwood, it’s basically a place for hot rods.  She was extremely responsible with her money, saving the vast majority of it for a new computer, which she hasn’t bought yet.  She visited several college campuses this year, some she liked and some she didn’t.  I’m confident that she will choose the right school.  This has been a year without boys, because she says high school boys are dumb.  (I can agree with that)  In school Olivia has done fantastic, really applying herself and showing great intelligence.  I’m proud of her on numerous levels.  Spiritually she has a good private time with God that shows in her firm foundation.  Show choir has been a struggle for her this year but I won’t go into it unless I talk to her.

Emily – This is a tough one for me.  I’ve tried texting and emailing Emily but she doesn’t respond to me.  I’m not sure how to be a Father to her or what she wants from me.  Maybe she wants no relationship.  But I want a relationship with my oldest daughter, this wasn’t the year for it.  Hopefully next year will be.

Tina – Her health has been very good most of the year.  Occasionally she overdoes it by lifting something heavy, causing her head to hurt, but most times she knows her limits.  Tina’s programs at work have continued to grow and expand.  She currently supervises a staff of 250 people which is amazing but trying.  This year Tina’s first work mentor died, Mr. Phil Cramer.  That was tough for her without a doubt.  Tina has an extremely stressful job with insane demands but my job flexibility has helped take the kid pickups and appointments from her schedule.  Tina is so talented at scrapbooking that people often feature her work.  I’m amazed at how creative and beautiful her layouts are.  How can someone be so talented at work and still be this creative???  She’s one of a kind.

Ron – Well, I’ve seen better years.  Early in the year I sold my first car, a 68 SS Nova on eBay for $3000.  I’ve been putting that money into a 66 Mustang Fastback but it’s far from finished.  I started working at my church this year which was good and bad.  The person I was most excited about working with Greg P. was asked to leave.  In the void there were several people who spoke, I was among them. It’s been a long, long time since I preached a sermon so that was strange but fun.  I speak almost every week to a great bunch of middle schoolers and volunteers who kindly put up with my strange take on things.  Cindy, Kate, Amanda, Jackie, Wanda, Al and Doug (Jim was already a friend) have become my friends this year because of working at my church.

Business was essentially a huge failure for me this year.  I lost some existing customers, my app project isn’t finished, the membership sites are in decline, and I got rid of some staff.  There is some strong opportunity with the app business for 2012 so maybe this is the year.  One app had 4700 downloads in a single month, crazy isn’t it.  I know that I’m supposed to say only the positives and make everything look great but I’m not a marketer, I’m a real guy.  I often feel like someone my age should know exactly what their career should be and yet I struggle with it.

The next blog post will include goals and direction for next year and be more positive.

Ron

Life in our home is picking up speed right now.  Olivia’s show choir season is in full swing, she won her first contest weekend of the season and is preparing to go to the next one this weekend.   Olivia has contests every weekend for the next month and a half, if you want to come see one of them, let me know and I’ll give you the schedule.  It looks like their show is going to be really good this year, of course, I am biased, but they were the State Champs last year, so they usually do well.   She performed her solo in the competition last week and did a great job… yay Olivia!  She is also in the middle of tryouts for a solo competition.   She auditioned singing “Popular” from Wicked and got a call-back for another round of auditions, so she’s pretty excited about that.  Mallory had her State band contest last weekend.  She plays the trumpet and did a really great job at the competition.  She was in a trio ensemble and got a gold medal, so she was really happy.  Grif…well, he’s probably out coming up with new strategies to defeat the evil in the world by using his super powers.  Today was pajama day at school, so he trotted off to school in his cute little Ben 10 jammies.  He’s doing really well in school, although he would prefer to only go a couple of days a week, as it interferes with all of the fun he wants to have.

I’m back to work full-time and am doing fine.  I’m really glad to be back at Adult & Child, I had missed it.  I initially had a few problems after my first week back, had to start wearing the neck brace again, etc., but that seems to have passed and I’m really doing well.  People are constantly amazed at how well I’m doing after having such major surgeries.  Last night was the season premiere of LOST, my favoritest show ever! Unfortunately, this is the last season of the show, so I’m not sure what I’ll do after that.  I may even have to find a new star crush, Matthew Fox has been it for years…oh the sadness when that show ends.  I’ve been busy doing the usual house stuff and I’m currently reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, it’s a great read so far, I plan to finish it off this weekend.  I’ve also been playing scrapbooks a bit, I’ve been posting my work in my online gallery, here’s the link if you want to check it out: http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/userprofile.asp?user_id=218207

Ron is working hard on his pasty-white computer geek complexion and dreaming of the garden he wants to plant this Spring.  He has a bunch of computer projects going on…he has been busy…and he gets to puppy-sit our new love, Tucker, during the days while the rest of us are gone.  Tucker loves to practice his puppy growling abilities right now and he enjoys trying to beat up on Fabio, our other Cavalier fur baby.  So if you ever call Ron, don’t be shocked by the dogs growling in the background, he’s not training to be the new Michael Vick of the doggie world, it’s just the background noise of his work environment.

I hope you all are well and that you are warmer than we are here in frosty Indiana.  Take Care!

Tina

So I’ve been kind of a slacker about posting, actually, we’ve been pretty busy and then out of town.   Life here is starting to return to normal.  I saw Dr. H, my neurosurgeon last week and had some tests, MRI’s and  X-rays.  All of the news was good.  My spine and brain are healing up really nicely.  I’ve really had very minimal issues since the surgery, I’m feeling really good.  The doc also lifted my driving restriction…so I’ve been officially set free!  And…I got rid of the not-so-stylish neck wear that I’d been sporting since the surgery.  Too bad Ron never got around to taking my pics for the neckbracebabes.com site that he wanted to start up…well, maybe next time.

I went back to work on Thursday and have done a couple of partial days there.  It feels really good to be back at Adult & Child, I really love my job and had missed the people there so much.  Thankfully, no one who was stuck inheriting part of my job quit while I was gone, so that was happy news!   I’ve also been so taken back by the concern that has been shown to me by my very kind boss and so many others throughout the agency and in the community, it’s very humbling.

Just before we went to Milwaukee, we’d been puppy-sitting for 12 puppies and their moms for 2 1/2 weeks.  That definitely kept us busy.  I have a new appreciation for the care involved in the process of raising puppies.  We are going to get a puppy from one of the litters, yes, only 1 puppy.  It was a hard decision, we changed our minds about which one we wanted multiple times, but ultimately settled on a little boy we call Tucker (well, all of us except Griffin, who refuses to call him Tucker because he likes the name Scooter).   Tucker Scooter Cloer…doesn’t exactly have a great ring to it does it?

Anywho, I just wanted to post again, let you all know how much I have appreciated the concern, prayers and overall kindness that I’ve been showered with through all of this.  It made a time in my life that could have been really difficult, so much better.  I know that I am blessed with so many great people around me, I guess it just takes something like this to make it real.

Hope you all are able to keep warm in all this snow,

Tina

Griffin listens intently to make sure Santa is reading the list correctly.

Olivia, Spam and Stephanie had a great time at Wicked!

Olivia is looking lovely as she gets ready to go to see Wicked.

Mal and Grif playing with Santa’s castle & Rudolph toys together.

Just wanted to do a quick update on life in the Cloer house.  Olivia is turning 16 this week, which seems IMPOSSIBLE to believe.  Ron took Olivia and a couple of her buddies to Cleveland on Saturday for dinner and to see Wicked as her birthday gift from us.  The girls had a great time and were absolutely stunned by the performance.  Ron endured being the “4th wheel” on the trip, but he also said the musical was amazing, although I’m sure no one was listening.    I’m posting pics of Olivia in her tiara, of course, there are no pics of Ron from the whole evening, since he was pretty much on chauffeur detail, but he did clean up nicely.

Griffin is counting down the days until Santa comes.  He went to see him on Friday and gave Santa his list of desired goodies.  I love the list that he made, he is just learning to spell, so it is pretty cute.  When I asked Griffin if Santa could read the stuff on the list, he just nodded and told me that “Santa knows everything”.  It is so awesome when kids are enthralled by the magic of Christmas.   Griffin did put one thing on his list that is a little concerning.  He asked Santa for some Ben 10 Legos, which for whatever reason, Lego is advertising, but not producing yet.  He is utterly convinced that Santa’s elves can make them anyway, so he asked Santa for those instead of Mamaw…. I’m hoping he’s not disappointed, those elves better hop to it.

Mallory is going to the IRT to see A Christmas Carol today.  She was super excited this morning as she trotted off to school.  She is also my co-pilot in the cookie baking department.  We are planning to start some serious baking this evening, so if you are a fan of chocolate, stop by in the next day or so, we should have plenty of yummy treats.

I continue to heal up well.  I’m still at home most of the time.  I have really appreciated the visits from friends and the short shopping outings with Ron, it helps break up the monotony.  Most of the time, I’m feeling really good.  I have had several nights lately where I’ve been awakened by bouts of nausea and my hand still hurts from where the IV was (vicious nurses)  but otherwise, I’m fine.  I’m still sporting the lovely neckbrace and will be until I go back to see Dr. H. in Milwaukee on the 6th of January.  No…I haven’t blinged it out yet, there’s not even one jewel or ribbon on it right now, but maybe as we get closer to the appointment I’ll do that.

I hope you all are well and thank you so much for keeping up on our family!

Test your phonetic reading abilities here...I think it's too cute!